Summer 2001.

To Whom It May Concern

by Amy Abdou

P.O. Box 5108
Chino, CA, 91710

To Whom It May Concern,

I recently returned an item purchased at Adultworld in Schenectady, NY and warranted through your company. I sent my credit card receipt along, but I could not find the original sales receipt. A letter recently arrived from your Warranty Division stating that I could not return the item without the original sales receipt. This presents a bit of a problem for me and I would like you to consider my situation.

The Crystal Rabbit, the piece to which I am referring, was recommended to me as a high quality item, well designed and manufactured for the vibrator connoisseur. Unfortunately, the Crystal Rabbit died after one use. I'm not going to get into specifics here, but suffice it say, I don't think I did anything out of the ordinary with it, and well, I was pretty disappointed. Thus, I decided that I would immediately return the item in exchange for a new and unbroken rabbit. Adultworld seemed shocked that A) The piece turned out to be defective; B) Anyone in their right mind would admit to breaking a vibrator and then try and return it. They had never had a single customer require an exchange before, (well, at the least the manager I spoke with had no idea what to do) and they referred me to their corporate office. The corporate office referred me to the warranty division of your company.

Registering your sex toy is an experience no one should really have to suffer through. It's tough to motivate yourself to register something important, like a television or radio, so to fill out a warranty card for a dildo is a real hassle. I now have a new relationship with my postmaster. I was convinced at one point that I had actually dropped the warranty card in my neighborhood after I had filled it out. It was a stressful experience. I know that's not the intent of this product.

Anyway, I sent off my warranty card, waited a few days and then sent off my Crystal Rabbit. Again, with the postmaster, but this time I wasn't as affected because the package was pretty well contained. I began to wonder, "How many vibrators get returned in the big scheme of things?" It has to be nominal.

As I had asked for the Cadillac of dildos, I didn't anticipate a problem that would require me to save the receipt. I remember it occurring to me after the bag had been disposed of. But this was a $50 item. Not cheap.

As a small business person, I can appreciate the value of a product that most people wouldn't want to return or register and I hope you realize the lengths to which I have traveled (psychologically) to get this matter resolved. I believe you have a good product on your hands and this is something I could whole-heartedly endorse. I am the resident dildo expert of an arty on-line magazine ( and I write a column entitled "Adventures in Porn." Given the prestige of this magazine and the frequent visits to our site, I assure you I could write a very positive review of this product or a very negative review, depending on how this is handled. I would like you to replace my Crystal Rabbit. Consider it a solicitation for review, a product demo, a personal favor, whatever. I need it. You got it. Please send it. Thanks.

Amy Abdou

AMY ABDOU doesn't quit until she gets what she came for.