Summer 2002

Two Poems

by Mary Panza

Girl, Pen, Trouble

Girl, Pen, Trouble
Boy admires Coffee Girl. Coffee Girl reminds him of his ex-wife. Pasty, thin
With a phone sex voice a lot like the movie "Girl 6".

Girl, Pen, Trouble
Cute Interesting Girl begins to see that Boy is out of his fucking mind and just likes Coffee girls as a rule. She feels that maybe Boy is just that, not man, not friend, just Boy.

Girl, Pen, Trouble
Perhaps Cute Interesting Girl should fight for Boy? Should make him see that she and her coffee are just as flavorful as restaurant quality. Maybe she should stalk Boy and get his routine down? Can Boy be trusted?

Girl, Pen, Trouble
Pen Speaks:
Hello, Cute Interesting Girl. In case you have forgotten, I am a pen. I am your voice of reason. Now you must listen.
ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY? Chasing down some dumb Boy like a desperate 16-year-old. Get a grip. You are Cute Interesting Girl and you don't take this shit. You have me and because you have me you are always going to win. With me there is nothing left unsaid. You win every war and come out of it with dignity. Coffee Girl doesn't have me and neither does Boy.
All they have is each other. I am your man now and I have always been your man. You are never without me. I am your Truth, I am your Trouble, I am God, and I am your pen.

Girl, Pen, Trouble
Cute Interesting Girl hears Pen
Loud and Clear

Goes home and thinks about threesome with

* * *

Crossing Over It

I will not chase your ghost
Perhaps I drove past the bar once or twice hoping that I would run into you and your super cool friends
It was only once or twice
I didn't spend an entire tank of gas, 30 cigarettes, or tears
Looking for you

I will not chase your ghost
I maybe would have
Definitely would have a couple years ago
Addicted to the thrill of maybe running into you
Stragicatily planned and quite by chance
Like a degenerate gambler knowing that next turn around the block Was the long shot that was going to pay off in Sex and Drugs and you Falling hopelessly in love with me
Just so I could dump you or spend the rest of my life with you
Which ever came first
And hearing you say
"Hey, I was looking for you"
In that casual, stoned cute way you have
Smoothing over all the desperation I was

I will not chase your ghost
I am too old, I have to get up early for a real job, and I have
A dog that likes to go to the Park early, I don't want to look like shit in The morning from smoking and crying will leave my face puffy

I will not chase your ghost
Like it or not
I have grown up

MARY PANZA does not look like shit in the morning.